• Anna

a difficult truth

By now you will have learned

that baby carrots are a fiction.

Unlike other “true” baby vegetables—

baby spinach, for example,

baby lima beans, or baby squash —

which owe their size

and consensus cuteness

to being harvested before

reaching the age of

majority,

baby carrots are in fact

the industrially extracted

cores of fully grown but

unorthodox (in the strict sense

of the word) mature carrots,

meaning crooked or twisty,

forked or having multiple fleshy

appendages deemed unsightly

or upsetting to

the average shopper in whose

mind carrots

are an Aristotelian form

resembling the root Bugs Bunny

plucks from the ground in cartoons:

perfectly conical, free of dirt

and ready for

chomp chomp whatsupdoc.

Read baby carrots as

root-level reeducation:

unregenerate radicals

become round pegs.


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